Privacy Policy

Effective date: July 4, 2025

This (evil) Privacy Policy describes how Hail Satan! Homeschool (“we”, “us”, or “our) collects, uses, and protects your personal information when you visit our website https://www.hailsatanhomeschool.org (the “Site”).

1. Information We Collect

Personal Information You Voluntarily Provide:

  • When you leave a comment, sell your soul, fill out a contact form, or subscribe to our newsletter, we may collect your name, email address, and any other information you choose to provide.

Automatically Collected Information:

  • We may automatically collect certain information about your device and browsing activity, such as your IP address, browser type, referring website, and pages you view on our Site. This information helps us understand how our Site is used and what pleases the Dark Lord.

Cookies:

  • We may use cookies and similar demonic tracking technologies to improve your experience and analyze how the Site is used. You can control cookie settings through your browser.

2. The Sinister Ways We Use Your Information

We use your information to:

  • Respond to your comments or questions
  • Provide and improve our content and services
  • Send you emails you have opted in to receive (like newsletters)
  • Maintain the security and integrity of the Site
  • Comply with legal obligations

3. Sharing Your Information

We do not sell your personal information. Not even for souls.

We may share your information:

  • With service providers who help us operate the Site (for example, email marketing services)
  • If required by law or to protect our rights and safety

4. Email Marketing

If you choose to subscribe to our newsletter or other communications, you may opt out at any time by clicking the unsubscribe link (OF DOOM) in our emails or contacting us directly.

5. Third-Party Links

Our Site may contain links to third-party websites and portals to hell. We are not responsible for their privacy practices. Please review their privacy policies separately.

6. Data Security

We take reasonable measures to protect your information, but no website can guarantee absolute security and nothing can guarantee the fate of your soul.

7. Your Rights

Depending on your location, you may have rights to access, correct, or delete your personal information. To make a request, please contact us. Don’t be scared.

8. Changes to This (evil) Policy

We may update this Privacy Policy occasionally. We will post any changes on this page and update the effective date.

9. Contact Us

If you have questions or concerns about this Privacy Policy, please contact our resident evil librarian:

deputy-twerp-blurb@duck.com