How to Hail Satan! Homeschool

No, I don’t worship the devil, but I do believe in questioning authority and raising kids who think for themselves.

The current public school system is built on colonization and outdated standards, and is a sensory and learning nightmare for anyone neurodivergent. At home the curriculum is better, the schedule makes sense, there’s significantly less chance of physical danger, and no goddamn commandments on the wall.

Unfortunately the homeschool community is lousy with “God-centered”, “faith-based” (one faith in particular) curriculum. Even worse are all of the “neutral” and “secular if you aren’t paying attention” curriculum. Blatant religious curriculum (not religious studies) is indoctrination and abuse but neutral and “sorta-secular” curriculum is especially heinous because it lies to kids and educators. Science that ignores evolution and climate change? That’s not scientific. History that erases BIPOC and LGBTQ+ voices in order to please the religious buyers? That’s not education, it’s straight fucking pandering!

As a card-carrying atheistic satanist and a natural shit-stirrer, I propose that homeschooling gets to be a little more wicked. I don’t mean making blood sacrifices (or educational neglect). I mean clearly communicating that we’re so secular we are downright blasphemous. We should be wearing our pentagrams as we navigate the horrors of the wholesome $300+ curriculum cobbled together by people who think Christopher Columbus was an intrepid person of color or that Harry Potter is the gold standard of children’s lit. I wanna know who my people are! As of 2025 (when I first created HSH), if you do a search for the top recommended secular curriculum you’ll see: portrayals of Indigenous people as extinct or primitive, “woke” history written by someone who refused to include LGBTQ+ figures, language arts curriculum with bigoted statements, curriculum written by “biblical marriage counselors”, and all of them claim to be “secular”. The devil’s in the details and I’m here to inspect them all.

So here’s what I have to offer!

• Recommendations for truly, OPENLY secular, anti-racist, neurodivergent and LGBTQ+-affirming curriculum and resources written by people who don’t suck
• Book lists and vendors that don’t suck
• Magazine subscription and even a few subscription boxes that don’t suck
• Education supplements that super don’t suck
• Screen time, games, and podcast recommendations. Non sucky.

What I will not offer:

• Neutrality at the expense of truth
• Prayers
• AI art or cheesy demonic public domain images like “so and so eating his son” or “vlad”
• Other stuff. Still finding my stride, ok?

Hail Satan. Hail yourself.